Where Do We Go From Here
by mtngirlforever
Summary: 3x01 inspired. Linstead.


**Inspired from 3x01. I absolutely hated the ending of the episode. It definitely needed work, but I loved the episode as a whole. So after some prompting I decided to do a one shot (maybe 2) for it. Hope you enjoy it.**

 **As always I own nothing but my words.**

 **Where Do We Go From Here**

Adam turns to check on her as they're walking out; she gives him a slight nod that she is really good before she continues on to the ambulance where her partner, ex-partner really, is sitting.

His face is every shade of red, purple and black. His shirt was undone where they'd checked him over, and he's sitting in a way to protect his ribs. He had dried blood everywhere like she did and all she could think to ask was "You ok?"

There's a long pause as his eyes search hers looking for the words to say. She hadn't been his partner since she'd quit. His attempts to bring her back had been shot down. She never actually said the words to him that day outside the club, but she hadn't actually reached out for him either. Seeing her today had sent a wave of different emotions coursing through him mixing with the undercover aspect, and truthfully he was still looking for what to say. Was she clean and sober? Was she back for good? How'd she know he was gone because Voight wouldn't have called? Was this just a one time thing and then she was gonna run again?

All these thoughts raced through his mind as he still looked for how to answer her while studying her eyes.

"I'm just glad it was you that they sent in," he finally comes back with knowing she needed to hear it. Knowing she needed to know he still wanted her for a partner, that nothing between them had really changed and he still wanted her.

He watched her eyes get glassy as she stares at him and swallows deep. Maybe it was too soon to actually be saying that to her, but he'd said and he wasn't taking it back.

She slightly nods as she keeps processing his words. She doesn't want to give him false hope because truthfully she's still a mess and she hasn't said anything more to Hank. Still isn't sure she wants her job back yet. She keeps the tears at bay as she keeps watching him and processing.

His eyes never leave her. His black eye, cut face, dried blood everywhere but still handsome face. Hank's words from earlier played in her head that had she'd been there, Jay wouldn't look like this, wouldn't hurt like this.

She doesn't know what to say to him still as guilt keeps creeping in suffocating her almost. Even beat to hell, his eyes are still piercing, still searching her soul, but she doesn't have anything for him. She finally looks down and away and says, "I've gotta go wash this off."

Jay sees regret and guilt all over her face and knows she won't be talking to him anytime soon. He just nods barely and she walks away. He watches her go fighting his own tears, knowing he wouldn't be seeing her for a while, if ever again.

He sits there trying to get his mind to slow, to push it all down like he does with everything else as she walks away from him.

In just a minute they load him into the ambulance to take him to the hospital. He doesn't want to, he hates those places, but he doesn't have any fight left to argue. He at least convinces the paramedic to let him use their phone to call Will.

He gives Will the brief version and tells him they're bringing him in but he's fine. Of course Will doesn't buy it. If they're bringing him in then it's bad because Jay fights going to a hospital for anything. He goes to tell Natalie and Ethan so they'll be the ones to take him, before going to wait at the ambulance bay for his brother.

While Jay was being poked and prodded and having every possible test run to make sure he really was as ok that he insisted he was, Erin was having a serious conversation with Voight at the district.

After leaving Jay and getting cleaned back up, she let her true thoughts and true self shine through. She'd replayed everything over and over in her head while in the shower, and she'd come to the conclusion that Jay Halstead was never giving up on her.

Even after everything she'd done, he was still glad she'd been the one to rescue him. He still wanted her, and she couldn't let him down again. Hank had saved her when she was fifteen, but this time, even he couldn't pull her out of her hole. Jay had, and she needed to be with Jay.

She agreed to all of Hank's requirements to keep her badge even though she wasn't sure how she was going to cut Bunny out. However, she'd do whatever was necessary as long as she never had to see that look of hurt and disappointment on Jay's face again.

"There's one other thing," she said her voice rough and raspy before she walked out of Hank's office.

"What's that?" he asked eyeing her carefully because he hadn't expected her to fight back on his stipulations.

"I'm going to the hospital tonight and I'm staying. After that I'll stay with you, but not tonight."

She saw Hank's protest on his lips and before he could voice it she spoke again; "It's not up for debate Hank. What he went through will mess with him. He won't show the team, but I know him. I'm sober, have been for eight hours now. He's my partner and I'm not leaving him alone in the hospital tonight to face demons, demons I could've kept him from having to deal with, alone."

"Erin," Hank started knowing she was blaming herself for what he'd said.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said before walking out.

Hank knew that once Erin was clean and sober with her head on straight again, she and Halstead would strike their relationship back up. He knew deep down Erin had serious feelings for him, he was the reason she'd come back, and he knew he was going to have to give them a pass. He stared at the picture of Camille on his desk and he could almost hear her telling him to give Erin a break, let her find love and be happy. If Halstead made her happy and could keep her from any more holes then Hank would just have to learn to deal with it. Because she hadn't come back for him this time, she'd come back solely for Halstead.

At the hospital, Jay was trying to get Will to leave. He didn't want him dealing with any nightmares or memories that might creep his way tonight. Jay was almost positive they would too. He'd always just dealt with them alone and tonight was going to be no different.

"Just go to Molly's, have a drink with the guys," Jay tried again.

"What part of I'm not leaving don't you get little brother?! I know I wasn't there last time, Jay, but I am now and I'm not leaving."

Jay let out a sigh which caused pain to shoot through his ribs. "And if you don't quit refusing pain meds, I'm gonna sneak the stuff into your damn iv," Will said.

"I don't need them," Jay tried to growl, but it didn't even phase Will.

Before Will could respond with a laundry list of why his little brother did indeed need the pain meds, they heard a soft knock at the door.

To say both were surprised would be an understatement, but Will was glad to see Jay's body relax and a smile grace his battered face for the first time in a while.

"Can I come in?" she asked quietly, nervously.

"Of course," Jay said giving Will a look to leave.

Of course Will got the hint and started gathering his stuff. "Erin how long are you staying?" Will asked. He wasn't trying to be an ass or imply that she always ran away, he just needed to know how long to stay gone before coming back to stay the night.

Erin looked like a deer caught in the headlights and if Jay wasn't laid up in the hospital bed, he probably would've hit Will. "I just need to know how long to stay gone," he said as way of explanation to smooth the waters seeing their expressions.

"I…. Ummmm… well I…. I was planning on staying all night if that's ok," she finally said.

Will didn't even have to look at Jay to know it was more than ok with him.

"Yeah sure that's fine. I'll make sure the nurses know so they won't say anything," Will said giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"Thanks," she said with a small, non-Lindsay smile.

"Of course. And Erin?"

"Yea?"

"Try to get him to take some damn pain meds. It was good seeing you," he smiled with a wink before closing Jay's door and leaving. He informed the nurses that Erin had permission to stay and as he headed out he decided drinks at Molly's wasn't a bad idea after all.

After Will left, Erin sat down tentatively in the chair by his bed. The only injuries she could see were on his face. The rest were hidden by the gown and covers.

Jay could see her scanning him for hidden injuries as guilt crept all over her face. He could also tell she was nervous but she had no reason to be. He was just so damn happy to see her when he honestly hadn't been sure he'd ever see her again after the ambulance.

"Erin, I'm fine, really," he said grabbing her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze as he tried to break the unusual tension between them.

She didn't exactly agree with that, but she wouldn't argue either. "Why haven't you taken any pain meds?" she asked remembering Will insisting she needed to get him to take some.

"Because I'm fine," Jay said with a slight smile.

Erin got up and paced. "You're not fine Jay! You were kidnapped, tortured, beaten. That's not fine," she said frustration dripping from her words.

"You're right, I was. But I'm fine now," he insisted.

"How?" she asked.

"Because you're here," he answered honestly. He wasn't holding anything back from her. She was here so she'd just have to deal with the truth.

He heard her sharp intake of air at his words. "That doesn't make you fine," she said still pacing.

"Yes Erin it does. Four hours ago when you walked away from the ambulance I wasn't even sure if I'd ever see you again. But you're here, you came and that makes me fine. No everything isn't perfect, but we are fine Erin."

She shook her head no fighting her tears. He didn't get to just forgive her that easily. She done some crazy awful shit to him since Nadia died, and people didn't just forgive like that.

"Erin come here," he said patting the side of his bed.

She eventually slowly walked over and sat on the chair again. She knew she'd be going through withdrawal soon and he didn't need to see that, but she couldn't just leave him either.

"Are you back?" he asked quietly trying to keep from reaching for her.

She eventually nodded. "Hank has stipulations, but that's understandable."

Jay nodded. "I'm glad you're back," he said with a genuine smile.

"How can you forgive me so easily? How can you still want to be my partner?" she honestly needed these answers, needed to know how they got here and where they went from here.

"It's simple. Always have each other's back," he smiled finally grabbing her hand again and giving it a squeeze. "Erin I know you're not in the right head space yet and I know you're definitely not ready for more, but nothing has changed between us. I'm always gonna be here no matter what." He wanted to tell her that no matter what, no matter what she did, nothing would change how much he loved her, but he knew she definitely wasn't ready for those words so he held them in.

She just nodded giving his hand a squeeze back keeping her tears at bay. "I need to see," she finally whispered moving his covers.

"No Erin you don't," he said stopping her hand.

"Yes I do," she said jerking the covers away and moving his gown up.

Jay let out another sigh which sent more pain through his ribs which she noticed despite his efforts to hide it.

She let her fingers skim over all the bandages covering cuts and burns. She let them softly drift over the bruises too. His torso was so many different colors and covered with so many bandages, she couldn't stop the few tears that did escape.

"It's not your fault Erin," Jay said grabbing her hand to make her look at him. "It's not your fault."

Erin didn't exactly believe him but she wasn't arguing with him. "Take the pain medicine," she said fixing the gown and covers before calling the nurse.

"Erin," he started but she stopped him.

"You're in pain and I don't want to see you hurting. Take the medicine."

Jay finally relented as she told the nurse he wanted the pain medicine now. If it'd make her stay he'd do whatever she said.

It wasn't long after the pain meds took effect that Jay was sound asleep. Erin settled in the chair beside his bed just watching his chest rise and fall. He was here, he was ok, and most of all they were ok. It might not be easy, but she finally believed that everything was going to be ok again.

 **So I hope I did it justice. I actually thought about making it longer, but this seemed like a good stopping point. If I did a second part, it would include Jay having nightmares and Erin being there plus him being discharged and how they handle his week off and Erin's week of sobering up. Let me know your thoughts :)**


End file.
